An Unpleasant Subject, Long but Important
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An Unpleasant Subject, Long but Important
Submitted by Ranger13 on April 20, 2010 - 9:25pmThe posts below about letting your pet go when it is time, made me think that I haven't seen a real discussion on this subject. It has been mentioned several times when the need Adminses, but that is about as far as it goes.
There is nothing more horrible to talk about than the subject of death. But, as pet owners, shouldn't we be as prepared for this loss as we are of our own death or that of loved ones? Maybe some questions should be asked.
What do I consider "quality of life" for my pet? If a pet can no longer function with dignity, shouldn't they be allowed to pass without pain, suffering and indignity? When I think of this, I try to think of how I would feel. I, personally, don't want to be deprived of my dignity, and I wouldn't want to be totally confused about what my life has become. Give this question careful thought. Your vet should help you to be able decide what quality of life your pet will have, if illness or infirmity are factors.
When will I know it is time? As was said, look carefully at your dog. Take your own feelings out of the equation, and ask yourself if you think the animal is REALLY happy. Sure, they can wag their tail until the last moment, but is that real happiness when they cannot play and be a real part of life and their family?
If I decide to let my pet pass with help, will my vet come to me, or will I have to go to them? Talk with your vet. Most will make a visit to your house and help with the passing, and your family can be with your pet through this passage, and it will go surrounded by the things and people they have loved. Ask the questions of your vet now.
After they pass, what now? Do you want to have your pet cremated and keep the ashes? Or, do you want to find a pet cemetary, or perhaps bury your friend at your home? Be sure you know what your local laws are regarding the burial of animals on your property. They can be very strict.
If you opt for cremation, does your vet supply this service, or do you have to go elsewhere? As unpleasant as it may be, go to the people providing this service, take care of the paper work ahead of time, and chose a beautiful remains jar or box for the ashes. (When we had to evacuate for Hurricane Rita, the first thing I put in the truck were my dogs' ashes.) (Most areas now have pet cemetaries.)
Should I just let my dog "pass" naturally, when its time comes? Wouldn't it be wonderful to just wake up one morning, and they had peacefully passed in their sleep? It doesn't always happen. To watch an animal you have loved, struggle for its last breath is something that may haunt you for the rest of your life. It is not pleasant, and their passage is not often gentle. I HAVE MADE THIS MISTAKE, AND IT IS A MISTAKE I WILL ALWAYS LIVE WITH! Think this over very carefully.
How can I justify what choices I make? Maybe you never will, but at least you can be assured that you didn't allow a beautiful creature that you have loved to suffer. My heart still breaks for each dog, cat, and bird that I have lost. They will remain in my soul forever.
I urge each of you to consider this post, and do some planning ahead, so that when the time comes, you won't be so overwhelmed with all of the details. A broken heart has a difficult time making the right decisions.
Thank you.
I think it got to the point for us...
that we were keeping him around because we didn't want to feel guilty about making the decision to let him go. I personally felt selfish for letting him go on living such an undignified life for so long.
Yes, we all pray for that peaceful passing in the night..
I have helped pets pass, so I know what it's like. I hope I never have to do it again, but I will if need be and I'll know in my heart when the time is right for me and my dogs. I'll be right there by their side holding a paw and looking into their eyes.
Selfish may be the wrong word to use..
I think it has more to do with the unknown wanting to be sure you are doing the right thing. It's a final decision that can't be reversed. Being unsure about when to let go isn't being selfish. In fact it's probably the opposite considering the sick or aged dog the person would probably be dealing with.
Thank you Pris, I am going through this right now..
and your thoughtful words help clear my thoughts a little. My husband speaks of the dog not having any diginity leaft and I am not really sure what that means. It is hard for me to wrap my mind around the whole idea.
I tell him that HE is selfish and he says that no he is just realistic.
Thisis not like flipping a coin and seeing which side it lands on. My husband and I have been debating this issues for several months now and I will not let go. I cannot justify it yet for I see things in the dog that lead me to believe that he is still enjoying his life. Maybe not at the level he was as a yongster but still enjoying it as best he culd at this stage in life.
Thanks again for posting!
How wonderfully you have put this into words.
And it is too true. With the very quick & unexpected passing of my less than 2 year old cat...I wish I had been more prepared. Fortunately, the people in my vets office were gems and made all the decisions very easy for me. You don't always have the time to plan later, so plan ahead.
Many things in this world may be subjective, but the beauty of a bulldog is an absolute.
I do agree. The time comes when you have to put selfishness asid
and decide the quality of life is no longer there for your beloved pet and would you want to live like that yourself. I have never had to put down a pet until this year and it is still difficult for me to deal with. But seeing him live like he was, was unfair to him and was just selfish on the part of my boyfriend and I. Dusty always said that he didn't want to put Oscar down because he got him out of his wheel chair. Oscar was 17 and I don't think he even recognized us a lot of the time. The time came when enough was enough and I don'r regret it. It wasn't fair to him, although I will always miss him.
Yes an unpleasant subject but I've been there
We had an old dog, I think he was quite blind and senile and arthritic a large dog about 13 1/2 yrs. My husband couldn't bear to but him to sleep. So in the middle of the night he wa dying in horrible pain. Never again will we do that again to a beloved pet when it could have been peaceful. A few extra weeks of life was not worth what we went through that night?
Well said!
Pris you made some very valid points. Knowing when to let a beloved pet go is one of the hardest parts of being a good pet owner. It's never easy to make the decision but it's one that more times than not needs to be made. I don't know if your every "ready" but trying to prepare yourself helps. Many of us on this board have lost beloved friends this year, myself included.
I made a terrible mistake several years ago by holding onto my sweet girl Tara Bear way to long. I kept her because I was to selfish and to weak to put an end to her suffering. When I finally made the decision she had suffered needlessly. I vowed I would never do it again. When my Pudge just left me I knew the morning I woke up that she was going to leave me that day. She had lost her dignity, ability to walk in just a matter of days.
I agree your pet will wag it's tail to the end but it doesn't man it has quality of life. I don't envy anyone having to make the decision to let a dear friend go but knowing you did the right thing should help ease your pain, at least it eased mine. Also having your vet's input can help make the decision easier. I'm lucky to have a wonderful vet who is also a dear friend. We discussed Pudge's options but he knew it was her time also. We both cried when she left but knew it was the right thing to do. Letting a friend go with dignity and in the arms of the person who valued and loved them most is something our beloved friends deserve.
Very well and thoughtfully stated...
Thank you. It is something that we all need to think about. It's an unfortunate reality, and a small price to pay for all the love and companionship they give US.
well said
I too have had to make this decission, it is a very hard one to make, my heart goes out to anyone who has to make this decission.