http://www.helenair.com/news/article_f519ff70-3ac9-11df-b87e-001cc4c03286.html

This happened last weekend in our town (just a few miles from my house). It made national news, and it will take a long, long time for our community to heal.

These were kids who didn't want anyone telling them what to do. Their own poor judgments got them all killed.

I'm not implying that your child is/will make these types of horrendous choices .... I only want him to know that everything you are doing is because you LOVE him and want to keep him SAFE.

http://www.rusticrail.smugmug.com/
http://www.pbase.com/bullpooches

my advice is let him know driving is a privilege, not a right. He has to earn the car keys by listening to what you are telling him from your experience. If he doesn't, the lessons and the driving stop until he's ready. Tough love, his life and others depend on it.

Kathy, Ollie and Chester

with the 3rd and final child! She is actually the best driver of the 3, handles the Suburban like she was born at the wheel, but if she breaks MY rules, she doesn't drive anymore. I don't care if it's legal as far as the State's laws are concerend, if I don't like it, I take the keys.
First kid was no problem, he just needed experience.
2nd kid couldn't handle the Suburban, we were getting her a car anyways so we got it earlier so she could practice driving it. For her it was NO MUSIC until she proved she could handle it. That was a fight until she realized we were NOT kidding, she fights with us, she doesn't drive. Also getting too close to the car in front.
3rd kid has no issues whatsoever, and it only took a few times of me taking the keys that she learned what MY safe distance to allow between cars is. She learned from going through it with her sister that it's useless to argue.
I told them that driving is such a HUGE responsibility, and fighting with your parents is immature and irresponsible. They understood perfectly that we would NOT take them to get their license until we were confident they were taking it seriously enough.

Cathy
when she first came home

there for a while in our area, there were a string of new 16 year old drivers in crashes where I live. One boy in my area obedience club, his friend had just gotten his license, and has 3 of his buddies in the car, his friend pulled out in front of a vehicle, and the kid in my club ended up in the ICU for a time, then to the nursing home in a wheelchair with paralysis. And if I do remember correctly, the other two buddies died, but not the driver.

Another girl near where I work, just got her license and with slippery conditions rammed the front of her car into the back of a school bus....what were the parents thinking? Letting her drive to school in those conditions?

It is a big responsibility, and privledge to drive. I think in Ohio now, they aren't even allowed to have extra buddies with them while driving. Alot of kids now just think it is another thing they are "entitled" to having.

I took my oldest daughter driving twice. I tried to stay as calm as possible and not yell instructions to her, but I swear I wanted to kiss the ground when I got out of the car. After that, the thought of taking her out gave me panic attacks so I told her she had to go to driving school. It isn't as expensive around here, so I bought her some lessons and she bought some of her own. Unfortunately she ruined it for my other kids and I will NEVER take them driving, so if they want driving lessons for birthday or Christmas, fine, but I am not risking my life and the lives of others for my kids to learn to drive.

Good luck with that, I know I'm not much help, but I feel your pain!

Michelle, Helen, Penny, Spanky and Faye pup

Do as your told or you don't drive.

Simple yet effective.

Lynn (UK)
x

your not alone.My son turned 18 2 weeks ago and doesnt even have a permit.I wouldn't let him and he actually didn't fight it..but now he is ready, and we are too,plus got him a car to practice with, my van was too hard to teach...but good advice here:)

much bully love~Christine, Dupree, Marley and Savannah

Well, I was just thinking about you last evening, wondering how you are and where you are! Good to see you on!

About your boy. Time for tough love my friend. He is NOT in control of this situation, YOU and you HUBBY are. You OWN the vehicle. If the boy isn't doing what you tell him, NO more driving for him until he is willing to listen. You already moved back to the mainland for him, now he is pushing the envelope even further by not listening when you instruct him in something that will SAVE HIS LIFE possibly. Ok girl, tell him to shut up and listen up or get your car keys back!!! If he doesn't EARN the next test and then his license, it won't be your fault!

Love you Lady!

Amy and Sophia

rules and laws for his sake and everyone else on the road. Driving is a privilege and basically a car is a deadly weapon. Would you give him a loaded gun without instructions. Just because they come of age does not entitle them. Needs to see some video's of how teen drivers have lost there lives and killed or injured others with careless, wanting to be cool, talking on phone, texting.

It was only 12 years ago so not to far off,lol... They made sure i knew that it was THEIR car and if i messed it up i wouldnt drive at all.. We started on back country roads where the traffic was non-exsistant. I spent 6 months driving where there was no one and wasn't allowed to drive alone til i was 17 1/2. When i had my first fender bender, well it wasnt so much a fender bender as a blow out and i drove home on the rim i lost my driving privelages for 3 months and had to pay for the new rim and tire. Just be firm and he will probably dislike you for a while, but i learned as an adult that the times i hated my parents was when they were doing the best job as a parent.

Brian, Oscar, and Sugar.

At 16 you will be responsible for any mishaps he has on the road--being sued- so you had better set the rules. I had 5 kids and none of them drove until they were able to afford their own car and insurance.You would be surprised at the difference in attitude when it is coming out of their pocket!!

your car...your child, rein him in and make him go by the rules, or no driving. [I once had to go to driving school and there was a film with a crash in it, it was pretty bad for me to remember it for over 40 years.] Ya gotta protect those future grandchildren. As to how that's a mystery to me and mine are raised, I just wish you good luck.

Steve

Hubby & I read through your replies ... twice.

Poor Lincoln won't know what's hit him next time we take him out !!!

The time down here at the moment is 10.39 am Monday morning and he has just been picked up by the Driving School, we met the Instructor and he explained a few things to us and what he will first show Lincoln.

The Instructor said it is great to see Lincoln having Driving School lessons so early as he usually gets the Kids when they have been driving with Mum and Dad for almost a year and then it is his 'job' to fix all the mistakes in a few short lessons before they go in for their Test !!

So, THANKS again from the bottom of our hearts... I have been on this Board for over 6 years now and know that you guys are there whenever anyone needs advise !

I NEVER ever want to have to post that anything has happenend to our son and so take on board every comment and sincerley thank you all.

Happy Easter and Cheers

Sandy

nm

if he doesn't listen, he doesn't drive. A car is a potentially deadly weapon. Tell him he has to understand that or he doesn't drive until he's mature enough to understand that.





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spell out your rules and expectations and let him be part of writing up the contract you all agree on. Everyone signs and breach of contract means you stop the car and mom or dad drives. No arguments. It's all on paper. Follow the rules and he gets to drive. Don't follow the rules and no driving. It's fair.

when we went through it, same thing happened, we were fortunate that they had a program , didnt cost as much as yours through his school, he rode with an instructor through traffic etc alot. He had to take his test Christmas Eve in a snow storm and passed driving in the city with the traffic. But the instructor was good at getting after him about everything. I couldnt ride with him, my husband did, but Im a nervous rider anyway. Really dont know what to tell you, its scary for parents whenever kids start driving. Sounds like they make them wait longer were you live as far as age, thats a good thing, my son was driving at 15 I think here. Hopefully someone will have some ideas for you!!! Happy Easter to ya ! Good to see you.

My son has his permit and not only is he a horrible driver, but he's deaf! Can you imagine what it's like as a parent to give instructions to a deaf teen, through SIGN LANGUAGE, while he's supposed to watch the road? lol

I can't handle the stress, so I don't go as much as my husband does. I have gone some, but I mostly take him to empty parking lots to practice his parking.

I DO know that practice makes perfect. My son has come a long way since his first time driving.

I'll pray for you if you pray for me! Good luck!

I agree Gary!

I WILL have our son read this.

Sandy

I agree with Gary 100%

as a bonus, he can get a job and pay for his lessons.

my kid is 2, so I can still talk tough.

bulldogs ehh!

Sandy

One thing that you can do for him is make him earn the privalidge of driving and that includes earning money to pay for the classes and having him pay you for giving him lessons and allowing him to drive your car. The good thing about boys is that they really do like to earn their keep. And don't ever, ever, ever, forget that they love when you give them Boundaries and Rules. They may act like they don't but they love it.

Driving is a privilege not a right.