Where to live in retirement?
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> You can live in Phoenix, Adminzona where....
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> 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
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> 2. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
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> 3. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
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> 4. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face
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> when you open your oven door.
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> 5. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING
>ME??!!
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> You can Live in California where...
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> 1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
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> 2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
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> 3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
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> 4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
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> 5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long >it
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> will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
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> 6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought
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> You can Live in New York City where...
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> 1. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus
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> Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
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> 2. You think Central Park is "nature ,"
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> 3. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language
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> makes you multi-lingual.
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> 4. You've worn out a car horn.
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> 5. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
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> You can Live in Maine where...
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> 1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
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> 2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
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> 3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
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> 4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
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> 5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and
>construction.
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> You can Live in the Deep South where...
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> 1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
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> 2. "y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
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> 3. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.
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> 5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty
>Jean, etc.
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> You can live in Colorado where...
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> 1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
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> 2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and
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> He stops at the day care center.
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> 3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
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> 4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
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> You can live in the Midwest where...
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> 1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
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> 2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
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> 3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
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> 4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
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> 5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say,
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> "It was different!"
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> AND You can live in Florida where..
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> 1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
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> 2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
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> 3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
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> 4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
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> 5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
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